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Forgiveness
After the injuries of the last few days, some people have called for forgiveness of every injury for the sake of peace. I find it very difficult at the moment, although forgiveness can take a burden off you. How do you feel about it? It would be nice if the answers were expressed honestly and peacefully, there is no need for another fire. Also, by the way, I also find it sad when posts are simply deleted.
After the injuries of the last few days, some people have called for forgiveness of every injury for the sake of peace. I find it very difficult at the moment, although forgiveness can take a burden off you. How do you feel about it? It would be nice if the answers were expressed honestly and peacefully, there is no need for another fire. Also, by the way, I also find it sad when posts are simply deleted.
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Forgiveness is warranted if the person can sincerely and honestly admit to their bad behavior toward me, and if I care enough about having a relationship with them instead of indifference. Usually, they won't, and I don't.
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Forgiveness is more than just taking the high road and moving on from our anger towards someone who has hurt us. It is also recognising our own need for forgiveness from those we have hurt. Why should anyone show us any mercy or forgiveness for our transgressions when we show none towards others? What makes us so special that we can get away with our own bad behaviour but others are not let off the hook? A wise man once said to take the log out of your own eye before you try to take the speck out of your brothers! I forgive because one day I in turn may need forgiveness from someone I have hurt.
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OMG! You all are talking about school and being bullied. How old are we now? We have all been bullied, at one time or rather. I don't let them make me feel bad, sad, mad or upset. You can't get that time back, and was wasted on them. I refuse to let them do that to me. I build a bridge and get over it. Why do you have to forgive anyone?
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When I was in sixth grade there was a boy who had been held back a year or three and was far larger than any of the other sixth graders. He took that as license to be a bully - to everyone. It lasted a good part of the year before one day during recess he finally picked on one too many children at once and we all collectively decided we'd had enough. We dragged the climbing rope from the gymnasium out to the playground, tied him up, spun him around until the fell on his butt crying, then we took turns throwing dirt at him, while the teachers looked the other way for the duration of their daily gossip sesh. It was the 80s, maybe they had a cigarette before intervening. Once that was over and he'd stopped being such a piece of shit, we all forgave him. I don't remember if we ever saw or heard from him again but nobody held a grudge or anything. It doesn't even eat me up inside. Actually it makes me kind of giggly. And proud.
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I was the runt. In 3rd grade, a bully kicked my feet out from under me when I and all the kids were running inside from outdoor lunch recess. For good measure, he gave me a strong push from behind as I was falling. My head collided with a sharp solid steel ladder on the playground. Cracked my skull open and required several stitches. Still have the scar. Stepmother almost fainted in Dr office as Dr stuck 10" needle in my skull. Don't worry. The school handed me some of that brown recycled paper towel for the bleeding. Dry, no cold pack, nothing. Bully got 2 weeks vacation. There were several other incidents that year that proved the physically strong prey upon the weak, like being hung up by my backpack in the hallway, feet dangling... Actually I find that one rather amusing, looking back. But I suppose such incidents made me the strong and dominant leader I am today. What don't break a man, make a man. Now I fight for what is the right thing to do or say, always. I stand beside friends and family, and will defend my pride like the lion I am. And as challenging as things were, I very much miss the 80s and 90s. Things were simpler.
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This will date me, but in school in the late 60s I was subject to some bullying from one particular person. They just would not leave me alone, and it got to the point where I was at my wits end, so, unfortunately I punched them. They were more emotionally shocked than physically, and I ended up having to answer for my actions to the deputy head teacher, but the one thing positive that came from that incident is that I wasn't bullied ever again at that school.
Bullying always triggers something in me, and I will always take a stand against a bully, wherever they show themselves. I guess that's why in later life I became a labour union representative with a specialism in representing workers who were being bullied by their managers or employers. It's sadly all too common.
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Bullying always triggers something in me, and I will always take a stand against a bully, wherever they show themselves. I guess that's why in later life I became a labour union representative with a specialism in representing workers who were being bullied by their managers or employers. It's sadly all too common.
Forgiveness is for the benefit of the one doing the forgiving, not for the benefit of the one being forgiven. Even if one doesn't feel it at first, say or pray it anyway, every time the person, place or thing comes to mind. It releases any negative and potentially obsessive hate toward that one and frees the forgiver. A failure to do so leads to emotional and eventually physical issues. The posts some are unhappy about, had all the earmarks of one who has not forgiven leading to many posts that were displaying their own unwillingness to forgive. Having had my time of holding on to resentments in past, it's not a pleasant place to be because I used to have a slew of people living rent free in my head, leading me to feel powerless, victimized, angry and depressed. When I actively forgave them and let them go, I was set free because that unforgiveness chained me, not the people I resented.
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I agree with all of you to a certain extent, except that I don't think it's OK to delete entire posts and thus simply wipe away lines from people who have commented there. Since Sayr is letting everything slide for reasons I cannot understand, we just have to protect each other as best we can.
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I will delete threads on my posts all day long. My posts are not a safe space for the alleged free speech of others. ☺️
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Yeah, I did that and got accused of restricting someone's freedom of speech when all I was doing was deleting an irrelevant rant that was about as imaginative as it ever is... No prizes who it was *giggles*. That person was free to go and moan all about it somewhere else, thus no restriction in freedom of speech. We don't have to provide a platform, even if costs us nothing.
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People think forgiveness means giving someone another chance or apologizing or offering an olive branch.
Forgiveness can mean just moving on. It doesn't mean that you have to be involved with that person or even concerned w them. It can simply mean you have chosen to disengage and wish them no harm.
You can block them and disengage. You can wish them well and hope they find peace.
You may also remain alert and stalwart. People who think forgiveness means the first things I wrote about are the same ones who encourage you to "try again" with an abusive partner. Just no.
Remember that you don't owe them anything. You deserve to be supported to take a stand. As does everyone who has been bullied by someone else. I also want to point out that it is approximately four or five people (again, a loud minority) who keep encouraging you and even berating you to "forgive" by their standard.
That makes them abuse and bully apologists, as well as apologists for all the things the offender espouses, whether it be genocide, fascism, misogyny, ethnic racism, or violence or even the murder of others. It's either acceptable or it's not.
Notice that it has been fairly peaceful for several days. Of course, maybe the box has been dramatic; I don't know, because I have blocked several people. And that is my right; it's what is healthy for me. I don't hate them; I am just done. And that's ok and healthy for me.
Is it forgiveness? Who knows? I hope they find peace. But I will just into the fray again. Most of all, I sleep well at night. Hugs.
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Forgiveness can mean just moving on. It doesn't mean that you have to be involved with that person or even concerned w them. It can simply mean you have chosen to disengage and wish them no harm.
You can block them and disengage. You can wish them well and hope they find peace.
You may also remain alert and stalwart. People who think forgiveness means the first things I wrote about are the same ones who encourage you to "try again" with an abusive partner. Just no.
Remember that you don't owe them anything. You deserve to be supported to take a stand. As does everyone who has been bullied by someone else. I also want to point out that it is approximately four or five people (again, a loud minority) who keep encouraging you and even berating you to "forgive" by their standard.
That makes them abuse and bully apologists, as well as apologists for all the things the offender espouses, whether it be genocide, fascism, misogyny, ethnic racism, or violence or even the murder of others. It's either acceptable or it's not.
Notice that it has been fairly peaceful for several days. Of course, maybe the box has been dramatic; I don't know, because I have blocked several people. And that is my right; it's what is healthy for me. I don't hate them; I am just done. And that's ok and healthy for me.
Is it forgiveness? Who knows? I hope they find peace. But I will just into the fray again. Most of all, I sleep well at night. Hugs.
And yes, I believe these things must be confronted head on at some point. And I will. Again.
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I'm not sure that forgiveness is warranted given that the transgressions are very real, and despicable. I noted a conversation where there was mention of the terms and language used, that maybe the use of milder language may have been more appropriate to put across a point. However, that could only be the case were the opinions to be expressed were acceptable, which they were not. That individual is now going around crowing that they are the injured party when that is far from being the case. The viewpoints they were expressing are despicable and definitely cross the line into hate speech. There is no need to forgive, or even to feel that there is any kind of burden to be borne by you, you are not the guilty party. Certainly you should distance yourself from any responsibility in any of this. I certainly do not carry any guilt around with me, or feel that I have to make any atonement for the comments I have made. In comparison any comments we have made, even at their most extreme,, have been completely respectful of the culprit's humanity wheras theirs have besmirched the character and sought to dehumanise in the most disgusting manner. Forgiveness there can only be reasonable when that individual themselves proves themselves worthy of that forgiveness, something I doubt will ever come to pass.
It is sad when posts are deleted, and even sadder when people are driven from this site all down to the actions of one deplorable individual who some, even now, having seen the evidence of their eyes, still try to minimise and be apologists for the most awful behaviour.
We need to stand in solidarity, for I think we all know that we will be faced with a situation once again where the weak man will attack someone for having the audacity to question him, only I suggest that this time, instead of taking him on head on, (difficult when he's blocked people anyway) we offer support to the afflicted and then, make individual reports to the owner of the site, including screen shots of the offending texts.
I'm all for peacefulness here in OSW, but not at any price, and certainly not at the price of tolerating bigots.
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It is sad when posts are deleted, and even sadder when people are driven from this site all down to the actions of one deplorable individual who some, even now, having seen the evidence of their eyes, still try to minimise and be apologists for the most awful behaviour.
We need to stand in solidarity, for I think we all know that we will be faced with a situation once again where the weak man will attack someone for having the audacity to question him, only I suggest that this time, instead of taking him on head on, (difficult when he's blocked people anyway) we offer support to the afflicted and then, make individual reports to the owner of the site, including screen shots of the offending texts.
I'm all for peacefulness here in OSW, but not at any price, and certainly not at the price of tolerating bigots.
I agree with you. Some people may be annoyed that I haven't finally let the topic rest and quickly return to the friendly everyday life. I would love to, but too much is too much. And the fact that some people here simply delete their discussions is another slap in the face for me. My own comments, some of which are still full of hurt, are simply wiped away like dirt. Solidarity is important. Even more so when one of us is hurt in such a disgusting way, as has happened. This morning I was asked whether I believe in God and that you have to forgive yourself in order to be forgiven.
But the world isn't that simple.
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But the world isn't that simple.
Let them be annoyed... Until and if they find themselves in a similar situation, and let's face it, Xpletive is indiscriminate and will turn on anyone who so much as dares to question him. If I was asked that question about whether I believed in an imaginary man in the sky my reply might be seen as quite rude. As for forgiveness, one has to be guilty of something in order to be forgiven, and you, and no one else commenting was guilty of anything, only the perpetrator of hate speech was guilty, and yet those people talking about forgiveness seem to regard his infractions as a nothing. I am disappointed in Hyacinth for deleting her posts and the comments that followed, but maybe she had her reasons. Those annoyed that you won't let the subject drop are to be dismissed, they are the ones who just want an easy life without having the sometimes difficult decision of taking sides. Life's not like that, and sometimes a stand has to be taken. You are right, the world isn't that simple.
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Your posts are not mean or vicious. As for poking the 🐻, eh. That 🐻 has been poking for the entire time I have been here... For years.
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