Forgiveness is warranted if the person can sincerely and honestly admit to their bad behavior toward me, and if I care enough about having a relationship with them instead of indifference. Usually, they won't, and I don't.

Forgiveness is more than just taking the high road and moving on from our anger towards someone who has hurt us. It is also recognising our own need for forgiveness from those we have hurt. Why should anyone show us any mercy or forgiveness for our transgressions when we show none towards others? What makes us so special that we can get away with our own bad behaviour but others are not let off the hook? A wise man once said to take the log out of your own eye before you try to take the speck out of your brothers! I forgive because one day I in turn may need forgiveness from someone I have hurt.

OMG! You all are talking about school and being bullied. How old are we now? We have all been bullied, at one time or rather. I don't let them make me feel bad, sad, mad or upset. You can't get that time back, and was wasted on them. I refuse to let them do that to me. I build a bridge and get over it. Why do you have to forgive anyone?

When I was in sixth grade there was a boy who had been held back a year or three and was far larger than any of the other sixth graders. He took that as license to be a bully - to everyone. It lasted a good part of the year before one day during recess he finally picked on one too many children at once and we all collectively decided we'd had enough. We dragged the climbing rope from the gymnasium out to the playground, tied him up, spun him around until the fell on his butt crying, then we took turns throwing dirt at him, while the teachers looked the other way for the duration of their daily gossip sesh. It was the 80s, maybe they had a cigarette before intervening. Once that was over and he'd stopped being such a piece of shit, we all forgave him. I don't remember if we ever saw or heard from him again but nobody held a grudge or anything. It doesn't even eat me up inside. Actually it makes me kind of giggly. And proud.

Forgiveness is for the benefit of the one doing the forgiving, not for the benefit of the one being forgiven. Even if one doesn't feel it at first, say or pray it anyway, every time the person, place or thing comes to mind. It releases any negative and potentially obsessive hate toward that one and frees the forgiver. A failure to do so leads to emotional and eventually physical issues. The posts some are unhappy about, had all the earmarks of one who has not forgiven leading to many posts that were displaying their own unwillingness to forgive. Having had my time of holding on to resentments in past, it's not a pleasant place to be because I used to have a slew of people living rent free in my head, leading me to feel powerless, victimized, angry and depressed. When I actively forgave them and let them go, I was set free because that unforgiveness chained me, not the people I resented.

Two more dear people have now also left OSW.

I agree with all of you to a certain extent, except that I don't think it's OK to delete entire posts and thus simply wipe away lines from people who have commented there. Since Sayr is letting everything slide for reasons I cannot understand, we just have to protect each other as best we can.

People think forgiveness means giving someone another chance or apologizing or offering an olive branch.

Forgiveness can mean just moving on. It doesn't mean that you have to be involved with that person or even concerned w them. It can simply mean you have chosen to disengage and wish them no harm.

You can block them and disengage. You can wish them well and hope they find peace.

You may also remain alert and stalwart. People who think forgiveness means the first things I wrote about are the same ones who encourage you to "try again" with an abusive partner. Just no.

Remember that you don't owe them anything. You deserve to be supported to take a stand. As does everyone who has been bullied by someone else. I also want to point out that it is approximately four or five people (again, a loud minority) who keep encouraging you and even berating you to "forgive" by their standard.

That makes them abuse and bully apologists, as well as apologists for all the things the offender espouses, whether it be genocide, fascism, misogyny, ethnic racism, or violence or even the murder of others. It's either acceptable or it's not.

Notice that it has been fairly peaceful for several days. Of course, maybe the box has been dramatic; I don't know, because I have blocked several people. And that is my right; it's what is healthy for me. I don't hate them; I am just done. And that's ok and healthy for me.

Is it forgiveness? Who knows? I hope they find peace. But I will just into the fray again. Most of all, I sleep well at night. Hugs.

Forgiveness is wishful thinking. Amends. Justice. Results.

I'm not sure that forgiveness is warranted given that the transgressions are very real, and despicable. I noted a conversation where there was mention of the terms and language used, that maybe the use of milder language may have been more appropriate to put across a point. However, that could only be the case were the opinions to be expressed were acceptable, which they were not. That individual is now going around crowing that they are the injured party when that is far from being the case. The viewpoints they were expressing are despicable and definitely cross the line into hate speech. There is no need to forgive, or even to feel that there is any kind of burden to be borne by you, you are not the guilty party. Certainly you should distance yourself from any responsibility in any of this. I certainly do not carry any guilt around with me, or feel that I have to make any atonement for the comments I have made. In comparison any comments we have made, even at their most extreme,, have been completely respectful of the culprit's humanity wheras theirs have besmirched the character and sought to dehumanise in the most disgusting manner. Forgiveness there can only be reasonable when that individual themselves proves themselves worthy of that forgiveness, something I doubt will ever come to pass.

It is sad when posts are deleted, and even sadder when people are driven from this site all down to the actions of one deplorable individual who some, even now, having seen the evidence of their eyes, still try to minimise and be apologists for the most awful behaviour.

We need to stand in solidarity, for I think we all know that we will be faced with a situation once again where the weak man will attack someone for having the audacity to question him, only I suggest that this time, instead of taking him on head on, (difficult when he's blocked people anyway) we offer support to the afflicted and then, make individual reports to the owner of the site, including screen shots of the offending texts.

I'm all for peacefulness here in OSW, but not at any price, and certainly not at the price of tolerating bigots.