Well, we finally managed to hold two battles among the regulars — and in the first one we even had spectators, probably there to witness the chaos firsthand. Before setting sail, there were some pointed comments about Commandant Ballyrae's ever-changing appearance and his suspicious habit of showing up in rags so torn you'd think he was auditioning for a pirate soap opera — all just to guilt-trip everyone into paying higher taxes. Charming strategy, truly.

The first battle was an absolute slugfest. Five captains unleashed their Smugglers and Statenjacht Utrechts and immediately started circling each other like seagulls eyeing the same chip. The NE roughest seas were, predictably, the most entertaining — mostly because half the crew spent more time bailing water than actually fighting. Brave souls. Risky maneuvers were attempted left and right, with captains trying to ride the wind, close the gap, and unleash broadsides before anyone could say "wait, is that MY ship on fire?" The most popular tactic lately seems to be: go fast, shoot fast, pray fast. But none of that mattered much, because Captain Trouble — true to her name — was out there picking off everyone with long-range precision while laughing maniacally, as she does. The others were basically Swiss cheese before they even knew what hit them.

However, the real subplot of the battle was the "friendly fire" situation between Captain Trouble and her supposed ally, Captain Eva: Eva's ship took 19 direct hits from Trouble. NINETEEN. Not to be outdone, Eva fired back 11 shots at Trouble. These two are either the worst allies in naval history or the most intense sisters in the seven seas — we're not sure which. Stay tuned. Final result: victory for the smugglers, and a very awkward post-battle hug between Trouble and Eva.

The second battle brought a delightful variety of ships and chaos to the waters. Captain Trouble arrived in her Batavia (big, bold, and briefly afloat), Captain Eva brought the Duyfken (armed with mines and ambition), and Squire Till rolled up with the fearsome Eagle (very dramatic, very pointy). On the opposing side, Commander Ballyrae piloted his Lorcha (sneakily effective, as always), and Captain Jen showed up with — wait for it — a humble little Smuggler.

Now, Captain Jen looked everyone in the eye, sighed deeply, and said she had no bigger ships available. The other captains, moved by what appeared to be genuine misfortune, collectively decided not to obliterate her immediately. Big mistake. ENORMOUS. Turns out Captain Jen's cannonballs were flying perfectly below the waterline of everyone else's ships, while the others' shots sailed harmlessly over her tiny vessel. Whether her ship was riding low from the sheer weight of her cunning — or just physics — we may never know. Either way, she took the victory, and no one is falling for that trick again. Probably.

Meanwhile, Commander Ballyrae's Lorcha proved once again to be a menace in disguise — the Duyfken got absolutely ravaged by it. Captain Trouble's Batavia went down faster than expected (a humbling moment for such a grand ship), and Captain Eva's Duyfken followed shortly after — though not before Eva landed one final, glorious mine strike on Captain Till's Eagle in her last moments, clinging dramatically to the planks of her sinking ship, tears in her eyes, mourning three consecutive victories she'd had with that ship. The Eagle survived, battered but triumphant until went down, followed by Lorcha.. a great victory for the Navy, thansk to Captain Jen who got a standing ovation for her audacity.

The evening concluded with a swift gathering at the port tavern, where everyone briefly discussed the battles, nursed their wounded pride, and began plotting future possibilities — and presumably, ways to stop Captain Jen from ever pulling that stunt again.

I really tried to come to this event and be a pirate! But my internet let me down. I really would love to see events like this one .. Dancing events I like, but rarely do I find an event like this one. Thank you, Eva! And I really, really like the poster!

Ready to set sail in two hours!!!!

The Spanish-flagged privateer ships are already flexing at the docks, polishing their cannons and dramatically adjusting their tricorn hats... They'll DEFINITELY be ready for battle at 12:30 SLT / 21:30 CET (probably with a dramatic speech and everything)!!!! So, uh... where's YOUR battle flag? Still in the laundry? No excuses, matey!