⛵ CA Sailing Race – Chaos on the High Seas of Neverworld! 🏴☠️
Every once in a while, we gather our bravest (and occasionally most reckless) captains for a sailing race in the Neverworld Grid!
Our beautiful 4x4 VAR provides the perfect playground for some serious sailing, questionable navigation, and the occasional act of piracy. The racecourse is shown on the map, although following it correctly is apparently optional.
Last Friday, four fearless captains entered the competition:
Miss Eva Nowicka – Fast, fearless, and apparently equipped with a secret turbo engine.
Navy Commander Ballyrae Hanley – A distinguished officer of the Navy, whose navigation instruments seem to have a mind of their own.
Rabit Pink Pirate Snoots Dwagon – A pirate who firmly believes that cannon fire is a perfectly acceptable racing strategy.
Smuggler Miss Trouble Ahead – An innocent, law-abiding smuggler who just wanted a peaceful afternoon at sea. Naturally.
🏁 Race One – Speed, Cannonballs and Suspicious Tactics
Miss Eva Nowicka took the lead and sailed to victory at an incredible speed. We are still investigating whether she secretly installed a jet engine below deck.
Second place went to Snoots Dwagon, who spent a considerable part of the race enthusiastically shooting at Miss Trouble's stern. After receiving enough cannonballs to supply a small naval war, Trouble's ship lost speed, allowing the sneaky pirate to overtake her just before the finish line.
Commander Ballyrae also demonstrated impressive speed, but unfortunately finished last due to what the official Navy report describes as "technical difficulties with the navigation instruments."
The rest of us call it getting lost.
💥 Race Two – Collisions, Cursing and a Heroic Sinking
The second race started with a bang. Quite literally.
Shortly after the start, Miss Eva and Snoots Dwagon managed to collide, proving once again that two excellent sailors do not necessarily make one excellent traffic situation.
While the two captains were busy shouting, shaking their fists, and exchanging what we assume were traditional nautical compliments, Commander Ballyrae and Miss Trouble seized their opportunity.
With remarkable speed and, for once, no major navigational disasters, Miss Trouble and Commander Ballyrea crossed the finish line first!
Miss Eva eventually arrived in third place, probably still muttering something about pirates and the rules of the sea.
As for Captain Snoots Dwagon...
Well, he decided to take a closer look at the local reefs. Unfortunately, he took his entire ship with him.
He sank heroically, spectacularly, and completely unnecessarily.
We salute his bravery. His navigation skills, however, remain under investigation.
🏴☠️ Until the Next Race!
What a glorious afternoon of racing, cannon fire, collisions, shouting, and questionable seamanship!
Nobody was seriously injured, several egos suffered considerable damage, and at least one ship is now providing accommodation for the local fish.
Many thanks to all four captains for a fantastic race!
Fair winds, following seas, and remember:
In Catronian waters, winning is optional. Surviving is an achievement!
| Eva Nowicka: there’s a mistake in the description of the second race: I finished second, despite captain Snoot’s fierce ramming attack.. at the first gate!!!!!! (likely forced by Trouble due to damage sustained ea... 3 hours ago |