"The court will be pleased to hear that the only eyewitness is a sword-carrying wolf."
"Aren't wolves colourblind? How good eyewitnesses can they be anyway?"
"Well, maybe you also need a nosewitness?"

"Sir, do you have a license to carry this sword?"
"Sure I do, I've issued it to myself."
"But..."

"Um... w-we were alerted about a w-wolf on the loose in the area..."
"Yeah, his scent had been all over half the grid for the past two weeks. I've tried to track him down, but I guess he has left again."
"O-okay..."

"Sir, why do you carry this sword in public?"
"You should see the fleas nowadays!"

Don't worry occifers (hic), I'm leaving now. My car just got dropped off, I upgraded from a Tossa, I mean Tisler whatever the bag of shite is called...

You wait all day for the police, then two turn up at once!

"I've heard of the cat in the hat, but this is ridiculous!"

Sir, im sorry but the law is the law, all dogs need to be on a leash.

We've had reports of a swearwolf in this area...

"He does match the description of the one that went missing in London a few weeks ago!"

This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, ‘I want you to trace someone for me. -- Tim Vine :)

We're searching the area for a criminal going by the name "Bill Board", have you seen this person around here?

It just appeared, I swear it did.

"Excuse me Officers, but have you seen my son? He's a sort of a Husky little fellow."

"You are arrested for fleas littering"

What do you mean, where is my DOG license? I am a WOLF, I will have you know!

OR...
Do you have a moment to talk to us about the spate of chicken disappearances in the area?

We arrest you in the name of the RAWR!

"no captain, I have not been drinking, it really IS a wolf in a hat carrying a large sword in the middle of town, I am looking straight at him! We need back-up!"

"Is that a Viking sword in your pocket or are you just glad to see us?"

Oh dear, what have you done now? :D