Re-posted on behalf of DJ Azraella.
Why Never Neverworld.
There is something particularly bleak about a community calling itself “The Friendly Grid” while apparently treating abusive behaviour as a problem best solved by telling the person on the receiving end: “You have a mute button.” Welcome to Neverworld Grid, where, judging by my experience, “friendly” may be less a standard of conduct than a decorative slogan attached to the front door.
I was a DJ in a virtual worlds for years lately as a visiting performer at Neverworld. By the point this incident occurred, however, my personal circumstances had changed. I am dying. That is not written for melodrama or sympathy. It matters because it explains what it cost me physically to be there at all. Despite being seriously ill and largely confined to bed, I got out of bed and DJed one final event to say thank you to my audience for supporting me and to draw people in one last time, which also helped to promote Neverworld Grid.
The reward was memorable, although perhaps not in quite the way their promotional department might prefer. During the event, I was verbally attacked and abused by a member of Neverworld Grid.
Behind every avatar is a human being. The fact that an interaction takes place in a virtual world does not make the behaviour, or its effect on another person, imaginary. The following day, despite the physical toll, I got out of bed again and raised a formal complaint with the owner of Neverworld Grid. I expected, at minimum, the complaint to be taken seriously. What I encountered instead was dismissal. No action was taken against the resident. My complaint was pretty much ignored and seen as nothing other than an interpersonal issue despite the fact I was a victim of one of their residents.
And then came this: “You have a mute button.”
And there, in five small words, lies the much larger problem. Of course I have a mute button. A mute button is a useful tool for an individual. It is not a substitute for moderation. Those are two entirely different things. A mute button allows the recipient to stop hearing somebody's behaviour. Moderation determines whether that behaviour is acceptable within the community in the first place. Confusing the two produces a wonderfully convenient system for administrators: the offender remains, the complainant makes them disappear from view, and management is spared the disagreeable business of actually managing anything. Problem solved. Well, invisible, which is apparently close enough. Imagine applying this philosophy anywhere else. Someone behaves disgracefully in a cinema and the management responds: 'you can use ear-plugs.' One can only admire the efficiency. No difficult confrontation. No standards requiring enforcement. No possibility of upsetting a patron who may have a life-time ticket. Just mute and carry on.
Neverworld Grid presents itself with the tagline: “The friendly grid.” That is precisely why this incident matters. If you advertise friendliness as part of your identity, then friendliness ceases to be merely a pleasant aspiration. It becomes a claim about the community you operate. And claims should survive contact with reality. A genuinely friendly community is not one in which nobody ever behaves badly. Such a place does not exist outside advertising copy and unusually optimistic children's television. A friendly community is one in which antisocial behaviour is taken seriously when it occurs. It is demonstrated by what administrators do when unfriendliness becomes inconvenient. That is the test. Not the logo. Not the website. Not the slogan. Not smiling avatars standing beneath carefully selected promotional photographs. The test comes when somebody crosses the line and management has to decide whether its proclaimed standards actually mean anything.
In my case, I believe Neverworld Grid failed that test spectacularly. I cannot state why the owner chose not to take action. Only the owner can answer that. But users are entitled to ask uncomfortable questions when enforcement appears absent.
What behaviour actually results in consequences?
Does a resident's financial contribution affect how complaints concerning them are handled?
Are paying residents subject to precisely the same behavioural standards as visitors are?
What happens after a formal complaint?
And perhaps most importantly: What behaviour would actually be serious enough for Neverworld Grid management to intervene rather than telling the recipient, “You have a mute button”? These are questions created by the apparent absence of action. If Neverworld Grid wants people to believe that payment of tier guarantees renters a friendly safe place, there is a very simple way of showing it: Have standards and apply them.
There is another unpleasant implication to the “you have a mute button” response. It transfers responsibility. The person accused of behaving abusively does not apparently need to change their behaviour. Instead, the person experiencing it must change theirs. You must mute. You must avoid. You must adapt. Management remains comfortably above the unpleasantness while the individual affected quietly rearranges their virtual existence around somebody else's deplorable conduct. That isn't moderation. It is outsourcing moderation to the victim. And it creates an obvious incentive for the worst personalities in any community: behave however you please as long as you keep paying. Eventually you can achieve the remarkable distinction of being peacefully surrounded by people who either tolerate you or cannot see or hear you. Community harmony, achieved through selective deafness as decreed by management.
There is another aspect of this which a mute button cannot undo: the physical effect of the encounter has already happened. Verbal abuse is not experienced solely as words arriving through speakers or appearing on a screen. Human beings respond physically to confrontation and distress. The body does not first consult the graphics card to determine whether an attack is sufficiently real to react to it. For a healthy person, that reaction can be deeply unpleasant. For somebody who is dying, already seriously ill and functioning with greatly diminished reserves, the consequences of that stress can carry considerably greater weight and could even be the last stress that body can take. And once that distress has occurred, telling the person “you have a mute button” is not a remedy.
The button cannot take you backwards in time. It cannot prevent the encounter that already happened. It cannot erase the stress already inflicted. And it certainly cannot answer the question of why the behaviour that caused the complaint apparently attracted no consequence. There is a peculiar cruelty in dismissing that distinction which no amount of virtual-world branding can disguise.
I did not expect sainthood. I did not expect somebody to erect a statue of my avatar outside the welcome centre. I expected basic human decency and a complaint to be treated seriously.
Apparently that must be the 'Super Ultimate Friend of the Owner' premium feature. Neverworld Grid calls itself friendly. People considering investing their time, creativity, communities and money there should understand what “friendly” meant when my complaint was placed in front of its owner. Because communities reveal themselves not through their slogans but through the behaviour they are prepared to tolerate. Anybody can write: “We are the friendly grid.” The interesting question is what happens when somebody isn't friendly. In my experience, the answer was depressingly simple: Nothing. The complaint was effectively binned. Apparently making bad actors into clouds is your only option meanwhile Management avoided doing anything meaningful other than preserve a monthly tier payment. And the slogan will survive. Perhaps that is the most impressive achievement of all. In virtual worlds, apparently even irony can be rendered in 3D.
Neverworld Grid also seems very keen on telling people that it isn't Second Life.
Second Life gets plenty of criticism, some of it deserved. One complaint you hear is that region owners can make their own rules and, if you don't follow them, eject or ban you. That can certainly be irritating. People can make ridiculous rules. People can throw you out for reasons you think are unfair. Give somebody control over a virtual patch of land and occasionally they begin behaving as though Buckingham Palace has asked for the keys back. But there is another side to it. If you enter somebody's region, you know they have rules and that breaking them can have consequences. If you behave badly enough, somebody can actually do something about it. After my experience with Neverworld Grid, I find myself wondering why removing that is supposed to be an improvement. If the alternative to somebody saying “These are the rules here” is somebody behaving abusively and the person being abused getting told “You have a mute button,” which system is actually friendlier?
There has to be some middle ground between petty little dictators throwing people off regions because they don't like the colour of their shoes and a free-for-all where nobody wants to intervene.
Rules can be abused. So can the absence of rules. The difference is that when there are sensible community standards, ordinary people know where they stand. Don't abuse people. Don't deliberately disrupt things. Don't make somebody else's experience miserable. Hardly tyranny. And if somebody does cross those lines, there should be consequences. Neverworld seems to dislike the way people in Second Life exercise control over their own regions. Fine. But what is being offered instead? If the answer is greater freedom, then whose freedom are we talking about? The freedom of somebody to enjoy an event without being abused? Or the freedom of somebody to behave however they like without anybody in authority becoming involved? Because those freedoms collide eventually. Mine did. And apparently I had a mute button.
Then there is the question of tier. People pay to be on grids like this. That makes it reasonable to ask whether somebody who keeps paying can expect considerably more tolerance than somebody who just visits but still contributes to the success of the grid. I cannot prove that this is what happened in my case. But the response I received certainly gives me reason to ask. If somebody pays tier and behaves disgracefully, what happens? Are they warned? Are there consequences? Or does everybody they upset simply get reminded where the mute button is? Because if the practical message becomes: Pay your tier and management will look the other way, then who exactly does that attract? Most decent people don't need immunity from basic standards of behaviour. Creators don't need it. DJs don't need it. People running events don't need it. People who simply want somewhere pleasant to spend a few hours don't need it. The people who benefit most from a place where bad behaviour carries few consequences are, rather obviously, the people most likely to behave badly. That seems an extraordinary foundation for something calling itself “The Friendly Grid.”
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be different from Second Life. But different does not automatically mean better. If Second Life says, in effect, “behave yourself here or somebody may throw you out,” while Neverworld's answer to abuse is “you have a mute button,” I know which approach now looks more like a community and which looks more like an incompetent Management avoidance strategy. Being different is easy. Being better requires rather more than a tagline. If Neverworld Grid believes this account misrepresents its standards, it can explain them.
What happens when someone reports serious verbal abuse? What behaviour actually results in action?
Are paying residents treated exactly the same as everyone else? And why was “You have a mute button” considered an adequate response to my complaint?
Those answers would tell people considerably more about Neverworld Grid than any slogan ever could.
Until then, perhaps the tagline deserves a small amendment:
“Neverworld Grid — The Friendly Grid. You have a mute button.”
or
" Welcome to Neverworld the Friendly Grid where you may have to mute your fellow residents"
or perhaps as almost happened in my case:
" Neverworld the Friendly Grid (we let you away with murder just keep paying you'll see)"
The bottom line has to be this:
If you claim friendliness you automatically accept a duty of care to all users. and paying doesn't excuse unfriendliness. Community standards you claim must be enforced swiftly and across all tiers of membership and extend to visitors. I was told my abuser hadn't broken any TOS. I guess there is no actual TOS beyond the owner's mood. Yes you guessed it my abuser is a friend of the owner.
My final advice to anyone looking for a new home...lift the carpets before you decide.
I won't see a resolution to this issue or see Virtual again but that doesn't mean you can't learn from my experience.
Azraella.
| Ⲙⲁꞅi: Azraella, I am so deeply sorry. Reading this broke my heart.
Behind every avatar is a real human being, with a real life, real struggles, and real feelings. Sometimes we forget just how much courage ... 5 hours ago |